There’s a song written by Robert Hunter called “The Greatest Story Ever Told”. It opens with the passage below. If you’ve ever been on the phone with an infuriated customer this may sound uncomfortably familiar. Try as you may to get them to come in out of the cold so you can help, their brains are boiling, their reason is spent. You ask for mercy and get nowhere. As customer service or support professionals the business of handling situations like these can be a regular occurrence. For the lucky one’s it’s an occasional disruption.
Moses came riding up on a guitar
His spurs were a-jingling, the door was ajar
His buckle was silver, his manner was bold
I asked him to come on in out of the cold
His brain was boiling, his reason was spent
He said if nothing was borrowed then nothing was lent
I asked him for mercy, he gave me a gun
Said Now n’again these things just got to be done
Now, my wife and I have a seven year old son that’s been diagnosed with mental illness. In our home we have to maintain a very clear head and focus on breaking down a problem to it’s very essence and simultaneously calm him down so we can resolve it to everyone’s satisfaction, including his. Sometimes the most innocuous things can frustrate him and result in a very big and dramatic reaction. Staying calm, unflappable, and talking him through these scenarios is not only something we have to do, we have to do it CONSISTENTLY WELL.
In my own career in service & support I’ve had to deal with countless numbers of customers that were dissatisfied with a product or service, break down the issues to a very basic level, and then work to address them one by one. And that has to be done while building trust and rapport with the customer. Over time I’ve noticed parallels between how one should handle an upset customer and the skills my wife and I have had to develop in dealing with our son. Below are six things you can do to navigate these difficult conversations:
#1 – It’s Not Personal
This one seems easy but can be difficult to remember in the line of fire. Even if you understand on an intellectual level that you aren’t being personally harmed or insulted, it’s easy to get defensive when you’ve placed a lot of blood, sweat, and tears in to building, running, or working for your company and/or team. When a customer expresses frustration it can be hard NOT to get defensive, or even notice that you are. It’s especially true when it may not even be your organization’s fault, be it a defective product or third party mishap (e.g. business partner or a freight carrier).
But it’s critical that you have an open and objective mind. This is your opportunity to demonstrate to yourself and your peers how it should be handled by viewing this as nothing more than a business process with clear steps and well defined outcomes. It’s not about you! Ask yourself this: Am I trying to BE right or GET it right?
Take a deep breath. Write down the words “It’s Not Personal. GET It Right” somewhere in front of you just before and, if need be, again during the call. This will help reinforce the message and help keep you calm and thinking clearly.
#2 – Preparation Not Perspiration
Make sure you are prepared to handle the customer’s call. Time permitting, make sure you have a set of essential facts that fit on one page. If you’re informed you’ll build rapport more quickly and begin to put the customer at ease early on. You’ll likely avoid stammering through answers with sweat on your brow.
This also means doing everything you can to control the timing of the call. If at all possible, be sure you have time in advance and that YOU are the one in control of when it happens and how long it will last. It’s YOU that needs to be in control and gently guiding the customer, not the other way around. Being singularly focused on this customer and their issues is more easily accomplished when you are able to give them your undivided attention with adequate planning. Don’t fall prey to the “Tyranny of the Urgent”. The OUTCOME is what matters, not the immediacy of the response. Any small delays will be forgotten if the customer likes the outcome.
Note: Sometimes we’re handed a blind transfer and find ourselves unexpectedly on a call with an infuriated customer. It happens. Focus on getting the basics, arranging a time to circle back with the customer, and perform the necessary research and follow through. You’ll be in a better frame of mind and therefore more equipped to address the customer’s needs. In fact, I usually just tell a customer exactly that instead of making excuses. It disarms them more often than not. Even ten minutes can make all the difference in the world. But please follow through or you’re toast.
#3 – Use Signposts & Checklists
Did you know that an experienced airline pilot with thousands of flight hours logged will still use a pre-flight checklist? Would you rather your pilot did or didn’t? Why do you think that is? Do you have a pre-flight checklist for customer escalations?
One of the biggest challenges you can face is staying on course during a difficult conversation. Customers have a way of derailing what should otherwise be a straightforward and workmanlike discussion with tangents and unrelated, emotional mind-clutter. I always try to use signposts & checklists for myself whenever possible. What are they? A few minutes before a call get two pieces of paper.
- Paper #1 – Jot down the major points you want to cover with the customer, or questions you’d like to ask. These can include anything that will help you gain resolution. This isn’t a novel, mind you. The goal is to give yourself a roadmap to keep things on track and not get lost during the discussion.
- Paper #2 – Information provided by the customer goes here. Also make note of pertinent info about the customer. Products owned, pending revenue, whatever.. You may know what’s needed, but again, writing it down in advance is great way to stay on track. During the call take good, handwritten notes.(Computer notes can work. Just be aware that keystrokes heard over the phone can make a customer feel like a second priority. I prefer the silence of a pen. I then take time after the call to enter notes in a customer record or email, ensure my commitments are on my calendar or task list, etc.)
You may want to have a short, canned introduction, explaining how you help customers. But you should be spending most of the time asking questions and listening. Use signpost paper #1 to help guide your questions, and take good notes on paper #2.
Extra Tip: Make sure you write down the customers first name. Clarify if “Stephen” likes to be called “Steve”, or “Do you prefer to be called “Pam” or “Pamela”? Write it down, then use their name 3-4 times during the call. It’s a psychological effect that comforts the customer.
#4 – Ask. Listen. Learn.
Larry King once said “I never learned a thing when I was talking”. I always try to take the same approach with an upset customer. “Ask. Listen. Learn.” I call this my “Know It ALL” approach because the goal is to ask a lot of questions, listen carefully to the answers, and learn what the real issues are. The solution is usually right in front of you.
Customers will be forgiving when they know someone is actually listening to them rather than making excuses. Your goal is to investigate and resolve, not “tell” or “sell” a customer on why they should or shouldn’t be upset. That’s not your call, and it’s futile because it’s not in your control to begin with. You cannot control how another person feels. Period.
So view this as an opportunity to get smarter and let the customer vent, but in a way that’s productive. Once the anger and frustration have been expressed the customer will feel better and you’ll be dealing with more practical solutions rather than an incredulous, closed mind.
Extra Tip: Record the calls once in a while if you can via MP3 or something. You’d be surprised what gets missed when you go back and listen. I’ve used this approach in my past when I had complex technical issues being discussed and wanted to make sure I understood what the developers were saying without interrupting the live call. I was often surprised at what customers had to say that I had no recollection of because I was digesting what had been said a moment earlier. Try it. You’ll be amazed! (Reminder: Keep it Legal)
#5 – Set Realistic Expectations and Never Say No
This one shouldn’t need much of an explanation, but I still see service managers doing it. It’s really important you build trust with a customer by being honest and properly setting expectations. Saying anything that will get you off the phone, or worse, make the customer like YOU rather than addressing their issue is a losing strategy. So be realistic and be candid. It gets you much further in the long run.
In doing so, avoid using negative terms like “No”, “it’s not possible”, or “Our policy has always been…”. They won’t get you anywhere. Use a positive and proactive approaches such as “I’ve listened carefully and here are some ways I’m able to help you. First, we can inform the CEO as you’ve requested and then act on his guidance once we know what he’s willing to do. I’ll act as your advocate and speak to him myself. For now let’s maximize your time and do the following…” or words to that effect. The goal is to explain what you’ll do in clear, easily understood language. Avoid evasive, non-committal answers.
#6 – Define A Successful Outcome
More often than not this simple thing gets lost. Making sure everyone has the same definition for success is absolutely critical. What outcome will re-establish the customer’s faith and trust in your product, service, or company? Sometimes this involves a series of milestones or deliverables. “If I can resolve issue #1, which you’ve stated is a high priority, can I have your commitment that you’ll allow me to then work to resolve issue #2?” or, “If we can resolve the three issues you’ve raised (repeating them back to the customer to demonstrate you’ve listened) will you be satisfied that we’ve addressed your concerns?” These are empowering statements that let the customer choose what’s happening, even if they’re choosing what you would have done regardless.
In a worst case scenario product success may not be possible, but you can still recover your brand and reputation by being honest and forthright about what you’ll do to satisfy them, even if it comes to a product return or refund. But that has to be well defined or you’ll never get there. Ask the customer to confirm the outcome you’ve established.
Suggested Reading
One book I’ve found extremely useful is “Crucial Confrontations” by Patterson, Grenny, McMillan, and Switzer. The authors dissect the components of difficult conversations/confrontations and provide practical steps and insight on how one may navigate them regardless of their title, be it CEO to Shop Floor Manager.
